n.jane

Our skill of conversation,

is like the initial attraction between two people. 

Except your looking at my words and not my figure,

critiquing my spelling & punctuation, instead of my hips and thighs.

Observing my choice of words & re reading the full and partial sentences I write you.

Our skill of conversation has a hold on me as it would be your grip on my waist line, 

I read between the lines of your phrases & sarcastic humour.

As I would expect you do me. 

Our skill of conversation, whether it be verbal or through words is never short a topic.

or some would call it a “Writer’s Block”.

Preferably I try and not use that term because i find it hard to believe that a writers’ ideas could ever be blocked from being expressed- but instead they are in lack of better words. 

I go through these phases sometimes, I will sit on an idea for about a week until I have perfected it enough to put down into writing,

and even when I find the right words, I can always find BETTER words to describe what i’m thinking. 

Hence, my extensive editing. 

Ah man, that’s my justifiable answer for not posting as much lately.

Ever heard of ’ Take a hint. ‘

Why is it such a hard concept for people to grasp ?

90 percent of the times, no one wants to step up & say what’s really on their minds - so they drop ‘Hints’ with hopes that the other person will eventually just get the point.

The hypocritical thing about being a Hint giver is that we usually complain that people don’t get it ; but can we blame them ?

It’s our fault to begin with, maybe if we just told them directly how we felt … . 

Should I have to censor myself because others are over sensitive?

No. I shouldn’t but unfortunately there are times when my mind let’s my mouth slip & the truth will come out in my words.

I don’t mean to be rude, & some may feel that I am trying to be.

Beyond more serious reasons, I simply can’t help it. I know some things are better left unsaid, but not everything. If a comment is made that I disagree with or find funny or find offensive - I’m saying something about it.

It’s up to everyone else to take it how they want it.

I see you steadily approaching ;

just approach a little fucking faster.

Thanks,

Neena.

their everywhere.

They are the random people we pass everyday and know nothing about.

We see their faces, hear their conversations, critique their physical attributes, maybe even make eye contact & then we never see them again. Think about all the people you see on a daily basis that you don’t know. I find it amazing how we could go an entire day surrounded by strangers & not even speak with one.

If we do, we are quick to assume this person has a few screws loose just because they began talking to us first. And we’ll only talk to strangers if in some way we are being benefited:

“Can I bum a cigarette?”

“Do you have the time?”

“Is someone sitting here?”

That’s terrible, but who’s to blame ? We all start of as strangers with one another, your closest friends were at one point a stranger to you.

But we have all been taught: “Don’t talk to strangers”

-if i was to talk to one stranger a day, would I be disrupting another another social etiquette ?

fighting for the one you ‘love’ or fighting for what you want is a primitive instinct we have as human beings.

if I love you, or desire you - & if I am convinced you love me/ desire me the same - why should I settle for anything else?

You can’t wreck a happy relationship ; if it’s wreck-able then I wasn’t the problem to begin with.

- just saying.

Never been a “Small Talker” , & I doubt I’ll ever become one.

We all know Small Talkers, the people you’d never expect to run into, the ones who never really gave a damn how you were doing up until the ‘unexpected reunion’.

I CONSTANTLY run into small talkers,

& because I am super easy going I have a hard time telling them, “shut the fuck up, we both know you don’t care, nicely ; I always get trapped in these pointless, meaningless, FAKE eight minute conversations with people I never really cared about.

Seriously though, I don’t get the reasoning behind it. If we failed to remain in contact in the first place, then there was a reason why…

we both really don’t care & would rather spend this eight minutes doing something else more productive. Instead, we are engaging in conversation that we won’t remember within an hour.

So next time I do run into a true Small Talker, do I have permission to tell them I really don’t care or would that be disrupting social etiquette?

you have something all figured out ; life surprises you with something else.

Be prepared for the unexpected,

being unprepared is one the biggest mistakes people make.

Nicely put;
my defining weakness would be my pride.
I have too much of it & more times than none it gets to my head - i hold high expectations of myself & feel i have to live up to them, no matter the cost.

Ask me what you can’t to my face

John Locke, i’m a big fan of his abstract theories on personal identity & self consciousness.

Ask me what you can’t to my face

Not dreads just yet, i plan on dreading them at the end of the month.

Ask me anything

We as people will continue to ask ourselves the age old question:

Who am I ?

Many go an entire life time without ever finding a solid answer to this, but what if that answer doesn’t exist? What if this question is unanswerable because at any given moment we can simply become someone entirely new.

Locke explained that the only thing needed in order to sustain a continued identity is the consciousness of our past experiences.

I am who I am because of my recollection of my past. In order to be the same person as time progresses you have to be partially conscious of some past self. If you have no conscious history of yourself in a past time, then who are you now ?

Stop & think about everything you remember from the day you were born up until this very moment … Now imagine you woke up tomorrow & you didn’t remember a thing.

Amnesia ;

defined as,

• a loss of memory due to usually to brain injury
• a gap in one’s memory
• the selective overlooking or ignoring of events/acts that are not favorable or useful to one’s purpose or position

Now if I was to suffer amnesia tomorrow & not remember a thing about who I was or where I came from, I most definitely can not consider myself the same person. Sure physically I would have not changed, but I wouldn’t have the slightest clue as to how I got the way I look.

Let’s take it further ; In deeper thinking,

Our subconscious mind works in different forms. Sometimes we are aware when it is working other times we are not.

For instance, when we sleep versus when we are awake.

We cannot recall our actions or thoughts while asleep, therefore, in essence we cannot be responsible when awake for actions we cannot remember. It sounds frightful but something important to wonder about.

Locke used a similar comparison with Socrates, going as far to say that if one commits a crime then suffers memory loss, he can not be held responsible for his actions.

Live as if any day could be your last as the person you are right now.

My Lovely covers the March issue of Ebony Mag.

The notoriously private superstar gave EBONY an exclusive peek into her world outside of the studio.

“I’ve had my ups and downs in the years between these albums, said Sade.

“That’s partly why I’m able to write songs that people in some way can hear. I express feelings, real feelings.”

♥♥♥

To step out of your comfort zone is a big step no one is really ready to take.

You leave behind all that is comfortable to explore something you know nothing about. Our souls crave this sense of adventure but minds think rationally.

Majority of the time it is all about, routine. What you do on a daily basis makes you comfortable with the life you are living;you find a sense of empowerment controlling these aspects of your life. Example:

The coffee shop you go to every morning,

or the bus route to take to work everyday.

Think about how much we rely on these things to make our days easier and more comfortable ; think about how much we complain when there’s a shift in what we are used to. But what about the bigger picture?

Outside of our own individual bubbles there’s a bigger realm to be discovered. A chance for us to all experience things we never knew existed. Many opportunities are lost because of this fear of the ‘unknown’ ;

personally, i don’t fear it. I embrace it & enjoy it while it lasts.

follow me ;

@NeenaLeee

to let my mind think straight.

I hope no one holds a judgement about me although, IDGAF.

“Tragedy : a form of art based on human suffering that paradoxically offers it’s audience pleasure.”

What is more tragic than falling into the deep hole of love & being left to climb out alone ?

What is even more tragic is the audience that enjoys mimicking the heart broken.

The same audience that mimics the poor, the weak, & the vulnerable.

Tragedies are not so rare, we see and encounter this everyday but do not recognize until it’s too late. We are not blind to the tragic events in our life. We may choose to overlook them, but we are never blinded by them.

The greatest dramatic tragedies all had foreshadowed a dismal ending, death.

My Question in all this is:

In what point of our lives can we alter tragedy into comedy? Or does Comedy even exist in reality?

Comedies end with happy endings, but there’s no happiness in death.

Death is inevitable, which in turn means so is tragedy.

I understand you want to hide your feelings from everyone, purposely making your reactions complex ones, just for your own personal amusement of fooling the foolish..

But I am no fool, Mr. Stranger.

I know that Love is nothing more than just another experience for you ; you are a person of constant change although your demeanor remains calm & composed. I can see the compassionate lover in you, and i am waiting for the day you will show me. You are attracted to my intrigue & mystery, i know this. I am attracted to your desire for freedom.  I do not expect physical gestures or romantic gestures from you, instead the simplicity of your company will satisfy me greatly.

You are not jealous or possessive in nature, so i must be able to stand my own ground at all times. I will not rely on you any more than you will rely on me. I do not plan on controlling your life, as i do with many other things, but instead (if given the opportunity) i will explore life with you.

However, you will not fight for me or claim me as your own. That reality will set in one day & you will feel undeserving of me, you will let me go.

I will still remain your mystery, unsolved.

Sincerely,

Neena

“put yourself in someone else’s shoes”, but what about your own ?

being comfortable with who you are is the first step to understanding other people.

you have to be able to walk your own path in a pair of shoes that fit you perfectly.

i’ve always preferred chuck taylors, those are my comfortable shoes.

i find marriage somewhat pointless & very superficial.

love can’t be labelled ; commitment isn’t something you can force on someone, it’s gained over time.

and gain everything?

or are we already pre-constructed with some innate knowledge of survival?

“Our minds are blank slates”

i can partially agree with this,

as we grow, our minds become a sponge soaking up whatever life throws at us.

but is there a basis to our learning process from birth?

i believe at heart we are all survivors.

some may forget the principle of surviving , while others may live trying to survive their entire lives.

however survival can only be the basis.

Who knew lonesome could bring such company?

to share thoughts & philosophies with myself is one of the greatest ways to finding self identity.

loneliness is only an imaginative state of mind.

i am only alone if i tell myself that i am, so if i allow others to slowly absorb themselves into my small world of curious questions & ideas, then i must be the opposite of lonely.

i do not always enjoy company.

i enjoy expressions, emotions, feelings, sub conscious thoughts, life philosophies, & words.

but with these things come individual people, individual lives, individual intentions.

So i must not ever forget that i am my own individual with my own expressions, emotions, feelings, sub conscious thoughts, philosophies, & of course my words.

i look forward to when night falls.

something about the dark makes me feel more comfortable & more relaxed

my best thoughts and ideas come to mind between the hours of 1 am - 5 am

i think i would be thrilled if a solar eclipse lasted 24hours.

i know it sounds terrible. =\

i’m juggling a lot of different ideas about this in my head.

& i can’t quite put my finger on it, so i’m going to write whatever comes to my head.

Simplicity is unanalyzed & unaltered,

but yet can have multiple meanings.

For example: Many would say that life isn’t considered “Simple”

but society has taught us values such as, “Enjoy the simple things in life”.

Well excuse me, but how am i supposed to enjoy what is simple, if life is deemed complicated?

“Simplicity is something that is in its barest element”.

We all are simple people searching for simple things unaltered, but who says we don’t already have these simple things?

Love: the first day you meet a person whom you later fall in love with, is the simplest, unaltered, unanalyzed day you will ever have with them.

Love in its purest form is simple.

Happiness in its purest form is simple.

Knowledge in its purest form is simple.

Life on earth in its purest form is simple.

It’s only until we forget how simple these things really are where complication begins to settle in.

are closed minded people the worst to argue with?

seriously, i know i can be a little hard headed sometimes but

i hate arguing with people who truly believe that their opinion is the only right opinion.

at least open up your ears and listen to another person’s perspective,

it’s not going to hurt you to climb out of that little box you’ve been living in all your life.

-sheesh.