n.jane

When a moments grey.. neither black or white; a state of idleness begins to set into a person’s mind. I am restless. I’ve come to a point where I am no longer satisfied with extreme & extraordinary thoughts, I crave for an extreme & extraordinary change. it’s almost as if a small flame has been lit but has yet to expand and grow into a full blow fire. Confidence in my capabilities are strong, & I do not plan on disappointing myself. Yet, the longer I wait and suppress ideas of wonder, the inner scream gets louder.

.. & became victim.

Word to big bird, jack n’ jane tonight as per usualll.

Bottoms up

here’s the thing :

the quiet observer is always one to take note of certain and certain things, but can sometimes forget what they have noted until it’s triggered again

more frequently, i observe and observe and observe , but do nothing more than take mental notes and move along 

here’s the crucial thing i realized:

you can’t observe and then do nothing with your observations,

defeats the purpose completely..

in order to make sense of what you’ve seen rather than what you said, you have to piece it together.

the common idea is that an action speaks louder than a word, right ?

so, by observing an action rather than just consuming words, you can create a mosaic* to which is completely comprehendible to you

what i love best about this idea, is it rules out the element of “assumption” (which i readily disagree on). 

there’s always a bigger picture to everything, just takes the right frame to see it 

Tried explaining what a “hunger pain” was today, My initial explanation and definition as simple as it was, sounded similar to : A sharp feeling in your gut, something comparable to the common feeling of a “tummy ache” . You may even feel slightly ill. Dude in my class looked at me like I was talking in korean. In attempt to exasperate my new acquaintance I would have went on with more details* , may have even ‘googled’ it if I had to. But in a brief moment (and by brief I mean, 8 seconds or less) I realized why our conversation would have just spun in circles if I continued to press on… he had never gone a day hungry in his life voluntarily , whereas I have. Simple. How can a person know anything about something they know nothing about? His ignorance on the subject made me smirk and I swiftly drift into a topic of horoscopes …

.. it is exactly how it sounds.

week days have become something similar to a routine blur

i say no more that’s needed to be said 

and i do no more that’s needed to be done 

of course i’m itching to push the edge, 

edges that could lead me nowhere or potentially lead me somewhere …

pulling back instead of pushing,

trying this idea of ‘time taking’ instead of ‘readily rushing’

been standing at this four way stop,

traffic in every corner ,

a mind moving faster than my feet  

and i haven’t made a move yet - the moment i do, the daze will turn back to days.

lately i’ve been feeling as if i’m kind’a missing something …

i need a couple new people in my life

now, i’m not asking for new “friends” or “lovers”

i jus’ want to be acquainted with others who have different views on life and such

… obviously, after some time one will become used to who they have let into their circle, and although this is good - for me, it’s a tad - uninspiring

i mean, how is new inspiration supposed to enter my life if i continue to run and walk down old path’s i’ve already created?

we all run around in circles sometimes - without even realizing it , i guess it just depends how often and which circles you run in ….

…. heard it & I liked it * shrugs *

… smoking my weed , drinking my bottle of Jack

friday night solo

*shrug*

call it what you want 

had a terrible, terrible sleep last night.

i tossed & turned in my bed for almost 2 hours before eventually drifting off into slumber

my mind was racing so fast it was preventing my eyes to shut and give my body the rest it deserves 

fuck, now i’m feeling it