Sympathy Swimming? No thanks.
i got royally ticked off today ..
but really one thing i hate is people who pretend to care.
ugh, don’t pretend, please god, don’t pretend around me
i can read through it like a pre-school one line per page book.
People who drop pathetic sympathy lines like
“*sigh with a smile* oh don’t worry ; why are you worried? “, or
“oh i’m sure everything will be fine, don’t stress about it”
those people need to leave me and my realm of real worries and stresses alone
fake optimism doesn’t help anymore than real optimism does, so why even open your mouth and pretend to give a shit about me and my problems?
just nod and smile,
or nod and frown,
or agree to agree with me in my frustrated woes towards the universe and all it’s unfairness,
but don’t give me stupid half ass one liners just in an attempt to try and make yourself feel like a better person,
a “better person” who - at the same time- instantly feels a dark moment of glorification creeping up into their head proclaiming how much better your situation is than mine..
I mean i know we are all human and we feed off of each others tragedies but where’s the discretion?
Where’s the invisible line ?
sorry this is definitely a rant post, but i needed to get it off my chest
The next time someone tries to drown me in their shallow pity pool, i’m gonna’ reverse the method and drown them with their own water wings !
Love’s Objective , a poem.
In brief I have become an objective subject to love.
Like most of my human peers I have experienced the power of it’s magic, subjectively.
However through many discoveries I have become aware of love’s foreign role in my life and how limited it is in my world.
I do not wish to be an immigrant in the land of love, but the more i travel onto the borders of its country I begin to feel the hollowness in my stomach as if I haven’t eaten a solid meal in days.
It’s sun rays glare so bright in my eyes that i must squint and turn my head to avoid blindness from the unfamiliar light.
I get chills and goosebumps that start on the nape of my neck and trickle down to the back of my ankles.
I am love’s objective.
Displaying all the symptoms of the sickness but not being diagnosed;
I watch those in empty lust with each other and wonder how easy it is for them to fall into false pretenses knowingly or ignorantly.
Learn’t not to hate these folks, for they know very little of their choice of action but a part of me envies this lack of knowing, sometimes wishing that i could return to the mind that is convinced of empty promises, passionless kisses, seductive sex and subconscious fantasy dreams from a lover who knows no more than my first name and color of my hair.
It’s easier that way, it’s easier to pretend rather than be consumed in the absolute truth of the subject.
But I am too far gone, too deep down the drain to resurrect to the surface of the sink and float around with those who are scared to discover the feeling of deep love drowning.
I have become love’s objective.
A trespasser in it’s superficial world, and a citizen of its land of unfortunate truth.
i feel like,
drinking soy chocolate “milk” and watching subliminal political cartoons till i fall asleep.
A thought on something, quickly..
I’ve had an opinion about this topic since it spread like wildfire in the internet world and otherwise, but i patiently waited for the initial hype to die down a little bit before i shatter everyone’s good conscious feelings … here I go ..
I’ve yet to watch it, not because I have anything against the ever so evident message it’s sending but because it isn’t anything that i was ignorant to before.
Let me put it simply:
What annoyed me the most was the the sudden “care” that a 30 minute video brought onto those who have been and still are so blind to the absolute tragedy that is the continent of Africa.
Kony is only a tiny fraction of the unspeakable things that are going on in a land that has deemed to be one of the most powerful since the beginning of time. Yes i said it, POWERFUL SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. Don’t know? Do your research and discover why and how Africa is constantly referred to as the Mother Land.
Buried history continues to get pushed deeper and deeper into the ground so far down that it’s becoming almost impossible for any average knowledge seeker to find substantial truths about this nation.
But, moving along… I wish people would stop becoming bandwagon hoppers to a few good pictures, tumblr postings, twitter and facebook statuses and maybe realize that there are two hour documentaries that show the same devastation that is happening in so many other countries throughout Africa.
It’s a slowly dying nation and I don’t understand why.
F*ck, i really don’t understand how a thirty minute video can persuade people to even begin to fathom the unspeakable things that are happening to children, women, and men just like you and I.
It hurts my soul to even think on this subject, but i felt like sharing my side of the whole Kony phase.
While I still have you reading let me refer you to some other documentaries that may open your eyes a little wider(i advise you from early, these are not “pretty sit down and have some snacks with” kind of films):
- Dispatches (Return to Africa’s Witch Children)
- The Redemption of General Butt Naked
- Invisible Children
- Ghosts of Rwanda
- Blood Diamonds
Sometimes, very seldom but sometimes i am asked who my “target” audience is in terms of my writings on my blog and etc.
I’ve thought about this numerous times, because every profound writer is effective by targeting and reaching out to a specified audience or group of readers.
For the most part i don’t write for a specific set of eyes, nor do i target most of my writings towards certain groups of people..
I write to write, i think it has always been this way for me, i certainly do write for myself (i think every writer subconsciously does) but I do not target write - so to speak.
Maybe that’s what makes me an unofficial, somewhat “raw” type of writer, which i do not mind claiming the title of.
my writings can be read and related to by anyone with two eyes and the competencies to read.
I write observations, learnings and teachings that i feel are worth being publicly shared; whereas others’ may experience these same observations and teachings that are not only subject to me but feel they are private OR feel they lack a sort of importance to be written about.
On the contrary to my “no target audience” opinion, i do wish for certain things to be taken away when a reader reads a post of mine, or hears a poem, or listens to a short story..
I want people to start observing things in life like I do with more esthetic, more passion, see yourself as a writer even if you hate writing and always have ..
begin to realize the subjects of passion in your life and how things you may see everyday can translate into your own personal translation into something beautifully unique to you..
that’s where all my inspiration stems from really, I see beautiful things every single day because i look for them, i choose to interpret them, i choose to smile at myself upon viewing them, and (when i have the time) i write about them..
I don’t expect everybody to be a writer, i know creativity can sometimes be a lack in certain people but if i can encourage everyone to at least try to look for, interpret and find the simplistic pleasure in these things that life so subtly has to offer us, i’ve done my humble job as a writer.
22 today. Yay :) Another year of mine has passed and another one has begun. I truly hope this year is one of progress and steady positive progressing. I don’t want to stop learning but I want to begin the real process of growing into my own garden of success.
I want to thank my 21st year for teaching me a lot more than expected.
I want to welcome twenty two with open arms.
I want continue to self teach and begin teaching others.
“The Man Who knows something, Knows that he Knows nothing at all..”
Identify your ignorance.
We are all ignorant, not many like to admit to this, but we are.
Without identifying what you lack knowledge on, how will you be able to heighten your knowledge as an individual on anything else?
I think most of us suffer from ignorance of ignorance.
Many people don’t understand what being ignorant actually means, so they are quick to assume that ignorant people are simply racists or those “stuck in their narrow minded ways”.. of course these are prime examples of ignorance at it’s finest, but… ironically a person thinking in this direction is ignorant.
Haha, sorry i find this kind of funny.
I think the main thing people tend to forget is the correlation between many things in this life.
- Light and darkness,
- good and evil,
- love and hate,
- knowledge and ignorance,
- beauty and ugliness ..
the list could really go on forever and this applies to just about everything in this universe.
Simply put, one cannot be knowledgeable without also being ignorant.
We would never know the beauty of a nice day if there was no such thing as an ugly day, you see?
To be smart you must also be stupid; but here is the fine line difference..
those who are knowledgeable are able to identify their stupidness or ignorance quicker than the average joe who believes he is far from an ignorant character.
I want people to start understanding the concept of positive and negative and how it exists in everything ; this world is being consumed by ignorance of understanding.
“you have a really nice body, keep doing whatever your doing..”
+ eat RIGHT.
+ commit to a form of physical exercise weekly. (walking,running,gym etc)
+ keep that positive energy on HIGH. **
… there’s no excuse as to why people shouldn’t feel comfortable and confident in their own skin.
You reflect what manifests within you.
We all have the ability to achieve happiness, beauty and wellness by simply developing a disciplined routine for consistent everyday positive energy to build inside us.
Once you get your insides in a happy place, everything on the outside looks just right.
Positive Plus Positive
i enjoy meeting those with energies that emulate the type of lifestyle i promote..
let me break this down a little more,
- positive love: love (like everything else comes in 2 forms of good and bad) ; negative love unfortunately has the upper hand in our day and age, many believe that negative love is positive simply because “love is love” and this is true they do work hand in hand, but one must have one in order to have the other. if there’s no elements of positive love and your constantly feeding into negative love, where does that leave you? back to the point, meeting someone who has this side of positive love energy isn’t hard to miss. these types of people “glow” in essence, its hard to miss them, or even ignore the strong positive pull that their energy has. I like meeting these people
- knowledge: this comes in many forms of many people. I’ve met some who haven’t the slightest clue as to how knowledgeable they are.. i’ve also met some who wear a knowledge mask to cover true ignorance of the mind. but knowledge is knowledge, what I as one person know and learn to know will never be one in the same as another. Some people have the power to inflict wounds of knowledge onto others without realizing it, and this is beautiful. A simple conversation between two people can leave one person walking away a pinch smarter than they were prior to engaging in conversation..and sometimes thats all it takes. Its funny because there has always been this idea that knowledge is somehow only academic and can only be found in books or in teachings from people who are deemed to be “wise”. You can increase your knowledge everyday without being in a classroom and lectured too. Knowledgeable don’t all read (most of us do), wear glasses and sip tea with our pinkies up. Some of the best lessons you can learn can come from those who have no idea they’re teaching you.
- simplistic : past four years i’ve done a lot of mental growing, learned a lot of basic fundamentals to life and one of these fundamentals I so strongly have faith in, is the idea and more importantly, the PRACTICING of a simplistic life. One must be humble, and although this is only a small part to living simply, it is key. I don’t meet many humble people; even the definition behind “humble” is somewhat tainted today(in my opinion). Being humble is no label for those who are modest and minimalistic in their material wealth.. no no. Humbleness is a direct way of being. Thinking simply, living simply, loving simply, finding simple happiness in simple things.. these are all steps to becoming a humble individual and leading a simple&humble life.
A lot of unhappiness, despair, hatred etc steams from a complicated & chaotic mindset. It’s hard to fog ones mind with the issues we all deal with as human beings; even the simplest people get dealt the hardest cards, but it’s all in how you play those cards, you know. Unfortunately i don’t meet many simple minded people. I wish I did that way I could find someone to completely relate to on a mental level but we are a rare grouping of people. It’s cool, I don’t judge anybody, nor do I feel any obligation to “preach” about these fundamentals that I believe are so crucial to living contently.
I just live and whomever is interested in knowing more on how I survive in a life that has yet to give me that winning hand of cards can just ask, and i’ll be more than willing to tell.
I.C.U … spoken word
I wish i could explain to you, who you are.
I wish you could explain to them, who we were…
The reason why you and I can be feared and admired in the same breath
we convince ourselves that beauty resides in the hips and thighs of fair skinned females who,
fear self love
and, instead would
rather exchange sweat with a nigga they just met
in hopes they don’t regret their free give away gift of…
you see …..
im clashin within this society,
these binds of the mind
like the du rags worn to protect a head of waves
or churches filled with life time sinners hoping to get saved
by blind faith,
i don’t hate.
i despise the teaching of our history as slaves,
when true history of our crowns are buried
so deep in a grave that it would take an entire lifetime to save the remains
so i remain searching for actual knowledge
and for those who ain’t scholars i refer to it as
the Ak forty eight laws of power
so if you willing to get a little wet,
let me shower you with some truth
about the god in you G.
you see cause it didn’t always mean gangsta
and peace wasn’t just slang for “see ya later”
these facts aren’t hiding under rocks,
but underneath the same socks and sneakers you walk in
caught up in stalkin ideas of material happiness,
but ignoring true love when it crosses your path
we are so used to being told and taught
and not teaching and reaching,
we have fallen generations behind a legacy that was built with hands like yours and mines
and still only five percent are seeking…
to help you discover who you are.
the true royalties of the soul hidden under what some call control
i challenge you to heighten the peak of your mind over time
now whether that means coppin a dime
or writing a rhyme
meditate until the beauty soak through you like water on a white t shirt
change the attitudes of the women who walk in high heels till they feet hurt
to try and impress men who purposely overlook even a quarter of they worth
i challenge you.
To begin challenging others with a level of thinking that seems foreign
but yet its speaking in a language that screams so clearly.
Let go of that fear.
Let go of that comfort.
Let go of that slave.
Become insane with process of understanding your sanity,
and no vanity
but begin to impress others with a beautiful face
that represents a glorious race
which has humbled itself into almost nothing…
I challenge you.
I challenge you.
… doing a first spoken word on Friday.
Look out for the poem, I’ma drop it on here for readers’ pleasure..
the way fear manifests & etc ;
fear is a powerful emotion.
i would probably argue that it is more powerful than anger, hurt, sadness, joy or love.
Fear has a way of creeping into souls; something like a odorless gas
Fear is poison.
Fear is destructive.
Fear, if manifested too long in one soul can be detrimental to a person’s life.
Identifying our fears is the key though ..
What are you afraid of ?
Of course many of us can name big things we fear… death, poverty, sickness, unhappiness..
But what are the small things that make your soul shiver?
What backs your soul into a corner of a dark alley way with nobody watching?
The truth is all of us, although some people may walk around with an air of “bravery” surrounding them, we have fears so deeply rooted within us we don’t even know what they are..
we can’t identify these types of deep rooted fears because we have learn’t to live them,
learn’t to cope with them,
learn’t to accept these tiny fears as apart of our “personality” or “character”
Ironically in this day and age, i think the emotion of fear is feared to be forgotten.
think about it…
Our entire world runs on fear,
without it, everyone would recognize their true bravery, their true courage, their true inner godliness.
I want to start figuring out where my fear has dug it’s small holes in my soul,
i don’t doubt it’ll be a long process,
but shit i have my entire lifetime.
make home where your heart is..
i’ve always valued a warm, cozy and inviting home.
doesn’t have to be lavish or filled with fine furnishings.
but a home is a space that one has created to feel comfortable in,
it’s a place to retreat from the madness of the world.
Ideally, a home should be free of all outside issues,
you should mentally leave all your worries at the door step when you go home.
Your body should automatically feel a sense of relief & relaxation.
One should always have a place to call home, no matter the living situation;
a resting place for the mind, soul and body.
A place of wholeness & love.